


As I Am

by karrenia_rune



Category: Gargoyles (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Pre-Series, Yuletide New Year's Resolutions Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-03
Updated: 2016-02-03
Packaged: 2018-05-18 01:46:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5893384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karrenia_rune/pseuds/karrenia_rune
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A look at Macbeth or rather the man who would adopt the puesdonym, Lennox Macduff and how he got there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	As I Am

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Gray Cardinal (Gray_Cardinal)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gray_Cardinal/gifts).



Disclaimer: Gargoyles belongs to Greg Weisman, Disney, and Buena Vista Television. It is not mine.  
The title was inspired by the Goo Goo Dolls song. 

"As I Am" by Karrenia

If he were the type to spend over much time reflecting on the past or upon missed opportunities Macbeth, might have admitted that reinventing oneself had been much easier before the advent of things like modern technology. 

Would he rather have died all those centuries ago when his cousin Duncan had led the uprising that had bloodied his beloved Scotland and led to his own usurpation of power and his claim to the throne? The answer, not surprisingly, was a resounding no. 

If it had not been for his unlikely and fortuitous alliance with the Demona; and the spell cast upon them both by the Weird Sisters he might not even have been here to concern himself with things like that. 

If he were being honest with himself, most men and perhaps some women, whether or not they had once worn the trappings of power, and influence harbored some longing for immortality deep down in their innermost beings. Most people could hope for the kind that passed on from generation to the next. He considered that for a moment, would he want to be married, have children. His first wife had been killed by Duncan. 

Macbeth had believed he would never find love again, not the kind of bond that he existed between the two of them. Perhaps, but that was not to be; not for him at least.  
His own immortality, as it beneficial as it had been; certainly was not all it was cracked up to be. "Who am I to complain?" he shrugged.

At first, being yoked to the rebel gargoyle Demona had been both beneficial and vexing. Demona undoubtedly had her own grudges to nurse and build to a slow burn over the intervening centuries, and he wondered if he had become more or else inured to them. 

If had wanted to, which he did not, was that nursing revenge for an aggrieved wrong could not be sustained. He knew better than to do so, because he did not want to and it would only fall on deaf ears.  
But, that, as the saying went, was ancient history. 

At one time Macbeth had found himself on the island of Elba during the second or was it the first exile of the great and troubled Napoleon Bonaparte. A great man whose ambitions of grandeur had only slightly and then not by much exceeded his grasp.

Macbeth grimaced, and wondered if by the time Napoleon Bonaparte had returned to his native Paris, if he and his inner circle had even noticed that the man who had helped to organize the massive undertaking and the supplies and who had participated in the battles, and occupation of the Paris; had, not begun to age as other men did.

At first, this had become merely a matter of expediency, but he soon learned that the world was a dangerous place, even to those who were blessed or curse; depending on how one looked at it; not being able to die unless at the hands of the other. Sometimes he wondered where Demona had been all this time, but he soon dismissed it as an idle thought and shoved it into a back corner of his mind.

Every time that became an issue Macbeth had been forced to cut his times, despite any lingering friendships or affections he might have established along the way, and move on.  
In the interim, Macbeth traveled across the continent Europe, careful never to put down deep roots or form lasting attachments to either men or women. He changed his name and altered his physical aspect as often as not to avoid suspicion.

It was strange to think that it would be the City of Lights, this time again, that would draw him back to the turbulent events of July 1776 and the inner circle of yet another troubled king. Louis, this time; and the bloodied events of the French Revolution. 

The turbulent times in which he had lived through had also taught him that men and women, too could be hanged or burned at the stake for lesser crimes than be decried as something undesirable and of or consorting with witchcraft and the supernatural.

In the 1900's was the first time he decided it was time that he leave Europe behind and cross the Atlantic and move to the United States and that was there he cemented the persona that he had used ever since, Lennox Macduff.

Lennox Macduff became the person that would last the longest, more so than any of the others he had been before.

And to his surprise he had found that he had settled into a persona of the slightly eccentric college professor of history. God's teeth, he'd certainly seen enough of it.

And as the centuries rolled by, he actually enjoyed it. Again, his own taciturn nature added to his own experiences had taught not to form lasting attachments to his students or faculty, he'd learned to thaw a little bit.  
He had even learned that in order to adapt and prosper in this brave new world he would have to learn and even embrace modern technology. It had been more difficult than he had expected; but in time, it had proven invaluable. Not only to be able to function but also to increase his own personal net worth. 

His adopted home of Manhattan had also proven invaluable in that regard for nowhere else had he felt as if he were in the fulcrum of change.

He figured that might always hold a fond regard for the City of Lights, but Manhattan had worn a dusty groove into his heart and more so than any of the other places he had been or hung his proverbial hat. That was not likely to change anytime soon.

As he sat at a table in his library at his home with the trappings of the mementos that he had accumulated over time, with a red pen over the essays of his history students; Macbeth, considered his own reflection in the lead-glass windows of the library with the sun streaming in and thought out loud, well, "Bully for you, Macbeth." Here I am World! Take me as I am."


End file.
